items from the mind of an idiot savant

not fit for print

OK, so I have a aptitude for the arcane and obscure. At the end of the Ben Folds Five Album Whatever and Ever Amen, you here someone shout “..Ben Folds is a fucking asshole!” As it turns out, this is quite accurate.

I was fortunate enough to get tickets to see John Mayer at the Hollywood Bowl last night. On the way to show, I became so excited when I learned the Ben Folds was the opening act. I love Ben Folds. So much so, that back in 2003, I bought tickets to see him with Tori Amos, thinking that I would either stomach Tori, or leave early, just to see Ben live. He was great back then. As a side note, Tori fucking rocked my word live. The CDs just don’t do her justice.

Back to 2007 - Ben was a little off tonight. His between song banter was sometimes irrelevant, and at one point stopped mid-sentance only to never finish. While he was entertaining, sang on key, and played well, he sometimes played a little carelessly, and sloppily. His stage antics seemed a bit esoteric, and he made to little to no effort to connect with those of us in the cheaper seats.

Something caught my attention towards the end of his set. Now I’m sure I’m misquoting a bit, Ben said “You know sometimes how you feel like a misunderstood genius, and even though you try to write songs that are accessible, it is still over most people’s head.” He seemed to be intentionally insulting the audience. Perhaps this was just a follow-up the big audience response he got from his version of NWA’s “Bitches Ain’t Shit”. And then, perhaps just to prove his point of how stupid the audience was, he entered into some potty humor banter, claiming that he could force peoples bowels to deploy by playing a very low note. He added that perhaps by playing a not as low note, those of us with weaker bowls would shart ourselves, rather than a full bowel deployment.

I didn’t take much of his behavior to heart. I figured it was just another day in the life an extremely talented musician, trying to find new ways of keeping both the artist and the audience entertained.

THEN IT ALL CAME INTO PERSPECTIVE!
As the crowd slowly herded down Highland, I happened to pass Ben & his wife walking in the other direction back up the bowl. Like any respectful patron of the arts, I casually shouted to Ben, “Good show tonight Ben!” He said nothing. Not a “Thank You”, a nod, a wink, nothing. He didn’t even look up. Then I realized, he didn’t even bother to stick around to see John Mayer’s set. I’m sure Ben has seen John play plenty of times, but I would have at least stayed backstage and listened out of respect. Something was clearly up with Ben Folds last night. Maybe he has the flu, or homesick, or something major like a death in the family, but something was up. Maybe like me, he’s a total dick when he’s overworked an needs a vacation.

I’m amazed at how people already have strong opinions on the Apple iPhone. We won’t really know how good or bad it is for another few months. Maybe it sucks, and one of the unspecified features is that it kills you after 5 hours. Maybe it is the greatest thing ever and it release endorphins in your brain that make you euphoric. Either way it is not cheap, and it is not out. So wait it out folks. Don’t be so quick to judge. Besides, other manufacturers will begin making devices with similar if not exactly the same functionality soon.

YouTube thinks this is so graphic you need to log in to see it.

I’m catching up on my Sopranos viewing. I’m two weeks behind, so I’m just getting around to watching the “Johnny Cakes” episode. I’m but just 10 minutes in, and I notice something a bit fishy. In the opening scene where Robert Iler [Anthony Soprano jr.] is selling his drums I noticed he cut his hair. My first reaction is AWWWW, I liked his longer greasy hair. But to my surprise just two scenes later, his hair was long again. YAY! Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Someone on the show should be fired for that stupid shit!

Now it’s short again! What a roller-coaster ride. At least it looks good in the Blockbuster scene.

Let’s face it, the modern American youth gets exploited enough in today’s online world. There is no shortage of suggestive photos of underage girls on the net, and Playboy isn’t helping.

I don’t mean this in a pious way that looking at photos of nude women is inappropriate, because I don’t believe that. I don’t even mean it in the way that Playboy sets a bad example for young girls. I mean it in more round about way. Here’s the deal.

Playboy recently did a search for the hottest women on MySpace.com. You can read the official press release here. I admit it, these women are attractive and probably deserve the title. See for yourself.

Here are the winners.

Jessica Difeo (Huntington Beach, CA)
Heather Lutz (Reading, PA)
Carrie Vaughn (Huntington Beach, CA)
Brittany Fuchs (Annandale, VA)[how do you pronounce that last name?]
Jeska Vardinski (Fullerton, CA)
Ana Georgean (Chicago, IL) [I couldn't find her MySpace page.]
Chantal Alexandria (Los Angeles, CA)
Heather Lynn (Davenport, IA)
Betty Lipstick (San Francisco, CA)

I would like to point out that Playboy did not do anything illegal and complied fully with all required laws. They state in their press release “The women were selected via an online casting call on Playboy.com. Those who were interested in posing were required to send in a signed model release, a photographer’s release and legible copies of two valid IDs to confirm their age. As with all Playboy castings, the pictorial was open only to women who are 18 or older.”

Here’s my point. Do a search for each of these names on MySpace. You’ll find that for 5 of the 9 names(more than half) return results with under age girls.

Searching for “Carrie Vaughn” returned the profiles for 1 girl under the age of 18 and several adult women including the actual winner.
Searching for “Brittany Fuchs” returned the profiles for 1 girl under the age of 18 and several adult women including the actual winner.
Searching for “Heather Lutz” returned the profiles for 6 girls under the age of 18 and several adult women including the actual winner.

So far, no big deal right? Additionally, only an idiot is going to confuse those young innocent girls with the actuall winners who posed in the magazine.

But what if you search for “Ana Georgean” or “Heather Lyn”?

Searching for “Heather Lyn” returned the profiles for 89 girls under the age of 18.
And searching for “Ana Georgean” returned the profile for 1 girl age 15 and NOBODY ELSE.

I’m sure some of these 98 girls will receive an inappropriate IM or email as a result of misdirected celebrity. They’ll also get a sudden influx of friend requests.

Here’s my point if haven’t caught on yet. Playboy didn’t do it’s due diligence to protect these girls. They could have held the names back in any press releases, and only made names available with links in print and online mediums. It isn’t anything new for Playboy to divulge the names of it’s models, but this is a bit different, and only because they reference MySpace.com and only because of some recent unpleasant events relating to under age girls and MySpace.

While I’m a bit upset by their irresponsibility, I’m shocked that this is coming from Playboy. They’ve always been one of the forerunners in bridging old media with new media. They’ve displayed an understanding how new technology works, and what the benefits of and consequences of their use are.

I’m not calling for a boycott of the magazine or anything silly like that. After all, it is art. Some other groups will probably call for boycott. I just want a public apology. I want for Playboy and other industries in general to learn from this so we can be more aware as a society and be better prepared on how to handle it. Hopefully we won’t need some sort of legislation, but instead will just learn to be better citizens/netizens.

I happen to drive by one of those building size billboards for a new movie starring some talentless musclebound action star in a family comedy. I haven’t seen the movie, but I’m willing to bet that it’s going suck.

TV execs have often explain that they don’t know what is going to be a hit or not, and they often just put shows on just to see if they stick.

I assume that filmmakers don’t work in the same manner. It’s far too expensive to make a movie just to see if it sticks. They must have some secret formula for success.

something like
muscles = blockbuster!

I think after they make a few more of these musclebound flops they’ll realize the flaw in this equation.

Keanu Reeves Gets Star on Hollywood Walk (AP)! If you don’t know this about me, my work space overlooks the famous Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood(land). There was a crowd gathering outside on the sidewalk today, and I didn’t think too much of it since there’s a crowd on the sidewalk most days. I must be so jaded. My only reaction to it all was “I’m just glad that crowd didn’t impede my walk to lunch.”