items from the mind of an idiot savant

not fit for print

For those of you don’t know, I am the president of my condo’s homeowners association. I’m also the treasurer, and I do some of the secretarial duties. So basically I’m in charge and I do almost everything. This is sort of illegal and not really appropriate for me to be doing all that.

You might be wondering why am I doing all this. It’s rather simple really. Nobody else around here is willing or able to help out. There are a few people around that help a bit here and there, and I have one neighbor that I can count on to do a lot of the legwork.

But this isn’t really about who’s doing what or about giving credit where credit is due. This is about those people who aren’t doing anything.

I’ve come to the conclusion that generally the people around here are selfish, lazy, and rude. I’m going to skip all the details to prove all this, and simply say the following:

This building is my home.
This building is their home.
They live in my home. I live in theirs.
Everybody needs to start acting like we live together and we are a community.
Everybody needs to start working together to make this place a better place to live.

Have faith in me and may ability to affect change. I can and will make things happen. With their help I can make bigger and better things happen than what I can do on my own. If they resist me they will loose. If they join me they will have something to rejoice in.

I know you’re reading this. YES YOU! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for spying on me?

I know when I started writing all this shit down, that eventually someone I knew would read it. But do you have to rub it in my face?

I’m just some guy, trying to live my life. Big fucking deal that I’m sharing some of my thoughts and feelings with you. What makes you think you’re so goddamn special? I’m sharing this shit with everybody.

What’s with you people? I didn’t disrespect you, so why would you disrespect me?

Don’t take all this personally. It’s not just you. It’s all of you combined. Just ease up and learn to get along, and stop being so confrontational. What’s the point?

My current girlfriend and I have only been dating a few weeks now. We decided that our relationship was still too fresh to go all out for Valentines Day. So instead we thought it was a good idea to simply not see each other on the great day. Well by the end of end of the day commemorating the annual celebration of lovers, we both broke down and called each other on the phone. I’m such a fool for romance.

It was getting late and we both had work in the morning. We missed the opportunity to even see each other on Valentines. I felt a bit stupid about the whole thing and promised to make it up to her by taking her on a nice romantic weekend getaway. After all it was a holiday weekend and getting out of town for a few days with a pretty woman was just what the doctor ordered.

I booked a room at the Four Seasons in Santa Barbara. I though we could hang out and just be lazy, until Sunday when we could go to their world famous brunch. But little ever goes as planned.

We ended up leaving a bit late Friday night since I had been working late all week. I ran home from work, packed and then picked her up. She wasn’t so happy about running late, but since I’m notoriously early or on time, I was forgiven.

The bad weather made the drive a bit rough. By the time we got there, it was rather late. We had a bit of a scare when they counter clerk told us that since we were so late that they had given our room away and they were all booked up. After some reservation computer voodoo they managed to find us a room. It was one of the best rooms they had. It was this tiny dungeon right by the kitchen and the laundry room. I think they called it the ghetto honeymoon suite or something like that.

Amy hadn’t been feeling well much of the week. Whatever it was that she had, decided to really make itself known the next day. We woke up to the sounds of dishes breaking, and Amy spent most of the morning in the bathroom vomiting.

So Friday sucked. Saturday sucked.

We both grew tired of trying to make lemonade out of lemons. We passed on brunch, and since I had to cancel Monday to come home and work, we just headed home early.

When I got home, there were about 20 phone messages from my family looking wondering where I was. After listening to 12 messages, and reading 5 emails I called my folks.

My mother answered the phone crying yet relieved to hear from me. She passed the phone to my father. He told me that they have been looking for me. They went to my place and knocked on my door. They had all my cousins out driving around looking for me. And they called the police and filed a missing persons report.

I had to call the police and close out the case.

So much drama!

So I had a crappy weekend. My folks freaked out, and Amy’s mad at me for having to cut things short. She says I work too much. She might be right. I had to cut things short to work, and I had to cancel a date earlier in the week on account of work, and I think I had to cancel the week before too on account of work. And now she wants to go to a concert in the middle of the week and I can’t commit since I might need to work. I wouldn’t be surprised if she dumped me for all this. I really have been working a lot lately, and neglecting other people in my life.

Whoa is me, whoa is me!

I thought writing this all would make me feel better, but it hasn’t. What a waste.

A few weeks later, Amy and I were together. It was late at night, and my cell phone rang. A coworker was calling. I figured he was just drunk and calling me for no good reason, so I didn’t answer. Amy was a bit upset by it all. I guess to her it appears my life revolves around work.

I haven’t heard from her since that night. I guess that’s all over. It’s a bit funny that the late night call from a coworker was what broke the camel’s back. I later found out that he was calling me to hook me up with some gorgeous girl who was in need of a good man.

I lost one girl, and the opportunity to be with another all at the same time. Now THAT takes talent.

By the way, now I really feel better.

While I still don’t have an HD set, I do get HD service. And frankly everything looks better in HD, even on your run of the mill TV circa 1999. So I end up watching the HD feed instead of the static filled standard feed.

I happened to catch my first commercial in HD. It was bright and immersive and entertaining and it was in in full wide-screen beauty. It was for the iPod shuffle.

I was somewhat disappointed that the commercial came from a technology company, especially one that is pushing HD technology and not some average company with some average product. It really would have been a tell-tale sign that HD had fully arrived if it was a commercial for some feminine hygiene product or sox or something totally mundane.

A few commercials later I saw another. It was for the network I was watching. They were touting their HD feed.

Is it really that hard to adapt to and adopt HD? Can’t we all just get on THIS bandwagon?!

I realized that even the commercials for HDTV programs aren’t even in HD. So they spend time and energy into editing and producing HD content and then downgrade it just for the commercial. Why? Instead of catering to the old school just find some sort of middle ground where the new school can enjoy the benefits of rich content with the caveat of text and other essentials adhering to the old school restrictions and limitations.

Until all the commercials on the HD stations are in HD, I’m just going to skip over them on my DVR. SO THERE!