items from the mind of an idiot savant

not fit for print

For the past 6 months I’ve had players, coaches, owners, management and league official stop by my house and blow smoke up my ass about how if they don’t make a deal soon, the season will be in jeopardy. That soon turned into the season is in jeopardy. And ever since christmas all they’ve been telling me is if they don’t settle by the end of the week, the season is lost.

Will you just cancel the damn season already. I’m sick of checking Yahoo! Sports to see if there is or isn’t going to be a season. Some of us fans have had to resort to running simulations of the season on computers. Will EA Sports NHL 2006 even come out? Will it end up being a golf game or a wrestling game?

Well, just like the last girl that strung me along for months on end with the worst case of blue balls, I’m telling the NHL to either suck my dick for hours on end and clean my apartment up while I’m napping, or drop dead.

Even if you we all kiss and make out right now, I ain’t watching. You’re all a big bunch of babies, and I don’t have time for your shit!

How many years of topless intermission ice girls do you think you’re going to have to put on for you to make this up to me and re-spark my interest.

To all y’all “GET STUFFED” as they say!

Um, I’m a bit too old to still be in school, but our office does have a collegiate compus feel to to it, and the the prettiest girl at work talked to me the other day.

I’M SUCH A ROMANTIC FOOL OF A LOSER! All we talked about was the weather and morning commute times. It was no big deal. Its just that I’m so dumbfounded by her. She’s so self-confident and pretty. Every time she walk by I have to stop what I’m doing and take a breath, even when she doesn’t look my way.

It must be her amazing smile. Her smile is like a ray of joy from heavan coming to light even the dimmest of spaces. All she has to do is smile at you, and instantly she begins to make things better.

You need people like that in your life.
Even if we never get to be friends, at least I get to stare at her supremely fine figure every time she walks by.

This email was just rambling enough to want to share.

Subject: Re: Beth’s friend
Date: February 8, 2005 3:29:45 PM PST

Hello Marina,
Yes, A is my 1st cousin. Beth and I are very close.

I can help.

MP3 players come in 2 major technologies.
Ones with hard drives and moving parts
Ones with no hard drives, solid state memory, and no moving parts

Here are some of the pros and cons
Ones with hard drives
Pros
Large capacity
Large displays
Con
Larger size
Moving parts that can be damaged if shaken vigorously
Examples
Apple iPod & iPod mini
Creative Nomad Zen & Zen Micro
Dell Digital Jukebox

Ones without hard drives
Pros
Lightweight & Small
No moving parts (good for use during exercise)
Con
Smaller Capacity
Small display if any at all
Examples
iPod Shuffle
Creative Muvo
and countless others

iPod & iTunes vs. the rest:
The real value in an iPod is the way the software and hardware work so seamlessly together and make for a much better user experience. If you would ever consider buying downloadable music online, the only good choice is iTunes Music Store. All the others music stores are way harder to use, and have many more restrictions.

Sony is a bit behind on the MP3 bandwagon. Their offerings leave much to be desired.
I have an iPod and love it. I love so much I bought one for everyone in my family.

NOW THAT YOU MADE IT THIS FAR:
THE BOTTOM LINE:
If you are indecisive and need to take a lot of music with you, you’ll want one with a hard drive. Buy an iPod.
If you only run in the gym on a treadmill, you can always put a hard drive based player on the console and not worry too much about jarring it. Buy an iPod.
If you are going to street running, get a non-hard drive based player. Buy an iPod Shuffle.
If you plan on buying music online, buy an iPod.
If you want something small and light, buy and iPod mini or an iPod Shuffle.
Let’s face it, iPods are not as cheap as some of their competitors. If cost becomes a concern here all some alternatives:
instead on an iPod, get a Dell Digital Jukebox
instead of an iPod mini, get a Creative Zen Micro or Rio Carbon
instead of an iPod Shuffle, get a Creative Muvo

Now that your a bit overwhelmed, any questions?

On Feb 8, 2005, at 2:52 PM, Marina wrote:

Hola Rick,
Im a friend of your cousin, Beth who is married to A–who I think is really your cousin. Anyways, I was talking to her about purchasing an ipod and she said that I should talk to you about it.

I am not familiar with ipods and I know that Sony and now other companies have made some. My question is which mp3 player should I purchase. I want it more for use while I am working out. Can you recommend any mp3 players. Or do you have any opinions on the ipod.

Thanks alot,
Marina

Take any 2 words and put them together.

iPod and brodcast = podcast.

Much free audio content for you to enjoy.

While I’m on the topic of dating. I went out with this girl a few weeks ago. We had a great time. The conversation was flowing pretty well with the occasional stoppage to swallow some food or check the score of the Laker game.

We get along well. The times we spent talking on the phone were fun and it was easy to pass an hour or two talking to her.

She was doing her best to make it obvious that she was interested. She was laughing at my jokes, giving me little touches as she handed me the serving spoon, looking at me with that come hither look.

After dinner we walked back to her place, and she invited me up. In that split second between her asking me up and words coming out of my mouth, I remembered that scene from Nine Months were he drops the girl off at her door after the date. She asks “Want to come up for some coffee?”
“No thanks, I don’t drink coffee.” He replies
“Want to come up for sex?”

The point being that when a girl invites you in, go! I didn’t want to have sex with someone I didn’t really know, but I didn’t want to say no, and make her feel like I rejected her. I just met this girl, and I didn’t want to ruin everything on the first date.

So, I went up. I played with her little dog and we sat on the couch talking and watching TV for a bit. I was a bit uncomfortable, but I think it’s just my head issues that were causing all that.

I was exhausted, and I almost fell asleep on her couch. When I left, she walked me out to the car. She may have leaned in for a kiss as we went to hug goodnight, but I was a bit out of it, and didn’t really notice. As I got in my car, she asked me to call her when I got home to make sure I got home OK.

Is that socially acceptable? It was just a first date. A good first date, but a first date nonetheless. Do people who are casually dating do things like call late at night make sure you got home ok?

So this girl called me. That’s great! I like it when a girl shows some initiative. I called her back, but I’ve been so busy lately, that I didn’t really have time to talk. I promised her I’d caller her back and make date sometime this weekend. Sounds good?

I was rather freaked out today when I got an text message on my phone from a girl I broke up with back over 6 months ago.

She wrote: “Wish you were inside me.”

I think I may learn how to get a restraining order.

I happen to drive by one of those building size billboards for a new movie starring some talentless musclebound action star in a family comedy. I haven’t seen the movie, but I’m willing to bet that it’s going suck.

TV execs have often explain that they don’t know what is going to be a hit or not, and they often just put shows on just to see if they stick.

I assume that filmmakers don’t work in the same manner. It’s far too expensive to make a movie just to see if it sticks. They must have some secret formula for success.

something like
muscles = blockbuster!

I think after they make a few more of these musclebound flops they’ll realize the flaw in this equation.

Actually this photo was taken about 22 years ago sometime in the early winter.

This is my grandmother (Téta) and her 7 grandchildren. Taken sometime in 1982 on my parent’s front lawn in Westwood, California. My grandmother has been ill for a while and I just wanted to put something up since I was thinking about her.

I met this completely gorgeous and awesome girl about a month back. And like most relationship in my she has 1 small fatal flaw. She lives on the other side of the continent in another country. That’s like 3,500 miles away yo!.

My younger cousin told me that a couple of her friends remember me from a visit many many years back, and they were apparently joking about how cute I was and which one of them could win my affection, or something like that. I guess my cousin was trying not to tell me too much due to some secret code of sisterhood.

I met one of the girls, and she was amazing. We had a great chat over coffee and while we wondered around the local video store. Overall a nice interaction, and I don’t think she noticed the few times when I stumbled over myself. I was going back home the next day, and we parted ways with hopes of maybe meeting again someday or possibly coming out to visit me.

I figure the only way I could ever make anything manifest out of all this was to follow through. I vowed to either write her an email about once a week or just drop the whole thing. Apparently my first 2 attempts at making contact failed. A technical glitch!?! My free e-mail provider screwed something up, and I lost about a week’s worth of e-mail. IMPORTANT e-mail! I switched to a more reliable and commercial provider.

Yesterday I thought I’d give it one more try. I sent a real short and simple email to her, not expecting to hear back. I had to try, right? I heard back from here this morning! I doubt anything will come of this all, but she seems really awesome, and I really want to get to know her, and hopefully spend some time with her.